Positively Scarred

(Note: I took a long time to get to this day in the 30 Day Challenge because I want these posts to be well thought out and meaningful. I know all the words to a lot of songs so it was hard to choose just one. At any rate, here we go…)

I wish someone would have taught me that love hurts. That it’s an internal pain that only time heals when it’s lost. That it is not sunshine and rainbows and flowers and kisses. It is hard work, and times get tough, especially when you (or your partner) are not mentally or emotionally ready to be in a relationship. I wish someone would have told me that. I wish there was an indicator. Something to say, “This person says they’re ready, but they’re not really.”

I wish someone would have told me that before I invested time, energy, and emotion into someone who failed me. Someone who ended up not being the picturesque person I thought he was. Someone who shattered the lifestyle I wanted. I wish I could say he felt remorse, that he begged at my feet, that he called and text messaged me incessantly asking for forgiveness, but the truth is… it just ended. Abruptly. And we went our separate ways, like the other never existed.

The hardest part of letting him go was knowing I should have left him a lot sooner than I did. I ignored my gut feelings, again, when I should have been listening to them.

I have a more realistic outlook on love now.

Love is not a fairytale. There is no knight in shining armor. There is no white horse.