Positively Scarred

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned in previous posts about how close my dad and I are. He’s been my rock and my voice of reason when things weren’t so great with my mom and I. As I get older, I realize more & more what a cool daddy I have and how lucky I am to have such an awesome man in my life.

So naturally when I found out he had to have surgery, I was a little scared. But, I was reassured it would be okay. They were just going to repair a hernia. Pretty routine, right? I suppose normal routines don’t run in my family. After 3 hours, I learned he had an iliac crest aneurysm. The doctor was repairing the hernia; he pulled and all of a sudden, my dad had an aneurysm and started bleeding out. They had to call in a vascular surgeon and he had to repair the vein. My dad ended up needing two units of blood. My step mom told me, “We’re very lucky.” And I couldn’t agree more. The surgeons acted without hesitation and fixed the problem and my dad is now resting in ICU.

But it was that in between time of not knowing… My step mom called me and told me about the aneurysm, which was quickly followed by, “Hold on, I’ll have to call you back.” I wondered why a doctor was coming out to talk to her so soon after he had just been out to see her. I felt like something was wrong, like something happened. Maybe they couldn’t fix the problem. Maybe he had another aneurysm.

I had all these thoughts running through my head, and I was scared. At almost 24 years old, I am nowhere near ready to lose my dad. Who would walk me down the aisle at my wedding? Who would share new music with me? Who would I talk to about our favorite TV shows? Go to concerts with? Travel with?

I know it sounds like I’m over exaggerating, but I really feel like I could have lost my daddy today. And the fact that I didn’t makes me that much more grateful to have him in my life & to have him as my dad.

I’m crying now as I write this. I’m going to see what it’s like from a different perspective. Seeing someone I love connected to tubing and wearing a hospital gown. He’s seen me in the same position so many times already, I’ll finally know what it’s like. I’m scared he’s going to be disappointed if I get upset. I will try to hold back tears and stop myself from crying in front of him. He’s been so strong for me, that I need to be strong for him.

I love you, Daddy. I’ll see you soon.

I was still at the age where my parents would do my laundry for me. Actually, my mom and I would combine our laundry together because we lived in apartments and the laundry room was down the street. No big deal.  However, at my dad’s house, my step mom would go into my room when I wasn’t home and bring down my laundry basket and was my clothes for me.

So in a sense, I was independent and could do my laundry on my own, and usually did, but my step mom would step into her bored housewife suit and wash it for me.

On one of these particular washings, my dad had to help. I wasn’t at home at the time. So my laundry is done and waiting for me in the hamper in the laundry room/pantry (yeah, our washer/dryer was in the pantry. weird, yeah?) and I go in to haul my basket upstairs.

It was a little awkward to find out that my dad had done my laundry because at the time he didn’t know his 16 year old daughter wore thong panties. So my heart skipped a little and I got really embarrassed when he turned to me and said, “Yeah, I was wondering why you had string in your laundry until I realized it was underwear.”

Cue blushing and embarrassment.

I’ve always done my own laundry since then.