Positively Scarred

So, I’ve been seeing T (or as he’s been dubbed by Princess, Gymboree) for nearly a month now. We’ve had a lot of alone time and have been getting to know each other. We’ve been having good times and I’m really liking him.

Last weekend, I spent the night with him. At his place. And we went out. Just us two. We just kept talking, and kept laughing. That was probably our best date. There was no pressure to do anything. It was great, wonderful, fantastic. I really like this guy. I see a lot of potential for us.

So, now the million dollar question… When is it going to be official? Why don’t I take the plunge and call him my boyfriend?

The answers:

• I’m not ready. I’ve only been single for two months (just about) and that was a long, tumultuous relationship. I feel, as Snake told me, there’s more fun to be had. But since I’m afraid of the online dating game and I lack courage to really speak to dudes, I’m not sure how far that fun goes. Maybe I’m not meant to be the “dating around” type. Maybe I was born to perpetually be in a relationship.
• His schedule changed. He went from being off Sundays and Mondays to Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Tuesdays I have dinner with my dad and step mom and Wednesdays are softball nights (step dad is on a team) and I’m not sure if I’m ready to integrate him into either of these weekly events. I could skip either, but I’d rather not. I like having a weekly routine.
• I’m fiercely independent and I feel he may attempt to trample over me. Not that he has… In fact, he’s left most decisions up to me, even though I don’t really care too much about what we do, as long as I’m with him. But, I really let myself go and lost some of my independence in my last relationship and I’m a little leery of letting someone get too close.

As it stands now, he pretty much is my boyfriend, but I’m really not calling him that. To me, labels imply commitment. I’m not committed. Not yet, at least. I don’t know if I will.  Maybe I will.

I feel like I need to be a little picky. I can’t just go committing for the sake of committing. So I’m going to take a little more time, continue seeing him, just see how things go…

But I really do like him.